tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-299811062011-12-21T19:21:25.619-08:00the life and times of a japanese/filipino.ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.comBlogger441100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-84190131279112648462011-07-05T01:07:00.000-07:002011-07-05T01:33:52.829-07:00

Sleeping comes easy these days- a little too easy. In fact, I feel like my waking life has been one big daze- hazy- blurred. I let my imagination get the better of me, my anxiety grows deeper, my thoughts, my thoughts in need of wisdom- wait, there goes another tangent- another rant, another declaration. I exist, but so do you- I exist, but so don't you- a dash, a period, a memory- a blip of

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-18048022416248478352011-06-08T21:00:00.001-07:002011-06-08T21:00:40.834-07:00

btw, thank you for the orchids!

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-38417727964141736702011-03-17T20:51:00.000-07:002011-03-17T21:09:00.686-07:00

So what's the objective here- come on people, we need an answer-Someone stole a bike. Someone stole a bike that was on my property.What does this mean to me? It's not like it was mine-What does this mean to you? We'll, that's LA, should have been more careful-Both my thoughts- but what do you say to a guy who recently lost his bike and his car in the same neighborhood.I don't want to jump to any

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-32218138853963677462011-02-18T13:40:00.001-08:002011-02-18T13:40:54.358-08:00

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-91419320574323364822010-11-23T14:36:00.000-08:002010-11-23T14:37:13.937-08:00

Happy birthday Randy!

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-52372145540727659312010-11-15T15:16:00.000-08:002010-11-16T00:16:35.693-08:00

I'm okay. Really, I am. Really, okay.With that said-- crushes suck. Love hurts. Growing pains the brains.Nobody broke up with me, I just fell in like with a person. I say I'm not the "type", but I do want a companion. I don't fall into crushes all the time, but from time to time it's "nice" to have a distraction. Something to look forward to, and someone to look forward for-- for a change-- to

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-36545640330801285492010-08-03T17:04:00.000-07:002010-08-03T17:08:58.045-07:00

I decided to take a vacation. A break from my old habits. To try harder, to do what I say, to make things happen. Not that it's time, not that I have no choice, not that I need to. But because I can.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-24137501362366410582008-11-14T16:07:00.000-08:002008-11-14T16:31:00.705-08:00

It's been quite some time since I last "published" an entry.I wish I could feel satisfied saying that I've been busy. Sure I've encountered my own share of lifework-- but I still long to be that guy-- still not satisfied until I am that "guy"--I'm working on it though, I've been "busy" watching movies. I try to understand endless amounts of things through film-- by things, I look at the decor,

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-29118696432870063302008-07-28T00:11:00.000-07:002010-11-15T21:01:19.846-08:00

I finally made an attempt to clean my fish tank. I spent about an hour cleaning the lid and attachments. When it came time to clean the tank, I put my fish in a separate bowl, and I thought everything was fine.My dad used to say "thought" was not a word– and I once got so mad, that I picked up a dictionary in an attempt to prove to him– and myself, that "thought" existed.So I thought all was well

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-52896048716689548002008-07-22T22:57:00.000-07:002010-08-03T17:13:57.327-07:00

why does there always have to be an obstacle. i don't have enough money to move. i need to move out. i somehow find enough money, only to realize i have new student loans to pay-- not including electric, gas, credit, food, transport-- And to finally start moving-- but having to keep track of who can help and from what time frame-- trying to avoid different "helpers" from seeing each other, due to

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-10358519587522187622008-07-09T20:11:00.000-07:002008-07-09T20:48:37.922-07:00

Sometimes it's bad to try to be too smart. I spend all my time thinking, creating, understanding, reflecting, blogging-- but little time accepting or resting--It's no wonder why I am restless. There is no vacation from self. And knowing too much can lead-- to too much. But I can never stop learning-- I only hope not to isolate myself within a world of my own self, my own ideas-- or develop an

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-62197762703210641282008-07-08T19:34:00.000-07:002008-07-09T21:40:07.846-07:00

-a glass version of a plastic SOLO cup

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-32998537441910304392008-07-03T22:27:00.000-07:002008-07-09T21:44:41.373-07:00

I wish I could give a gold star to each clever thought, idea, concept-- image, moment-- that made me force my mind to try to understand it-- try to remember it-- and to try to later utilize it. I try to collect them-- to create a pool of greatness. It's not that I try to find them, clever moments seem to catch me by surprise. I find them in writing, editing, acting, directing of television and

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-91758362561062463932008-07-03T20:01:00.000-07:002008-07-04T18:58:34.457-07:00

photos- Anonymous, Christophe Wu, Daily Bruin

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-16180385115254565522008-07-02T15:44:00.000-07:002008-07-03T20:10:10.616-07:00

It's hard to stop-- to let myself think-- that's why I don't drive. I enjoy the reflecting time I have on the bus. The bus is like a surrogate psychologist. This smelly, air-conditioned, sack of germs and dreams. A place to think, scope out society, and see how the outside world within my confined route has changed. It changes each day.For some reason I have this fear-- well not necessarily a "

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-58161705259492975922008-06-08T15:15:00.000-07:002008-06-08T16:40:12.954-07:00

The other day, I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain, and it changed me. I don't know how, but it did.I think this "change" was due in part to this self reflective process I have. Whenever I do something again, but in a different time or stage of my life, I like to think about how things have changed. I like to find the differences in how I see the world now and then.Anyway, it has been several

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-5474327871324772642008-06-06T00:07:00.000-07:002008-06-06T00:12:30.985-07:00

I guess it's been two years at Cost Plus World Market. I quit once. It's time for change. I need to quit again. It's time to start my life again.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-4005276676110193462008-06-05T22:52:00.000-07:002008-06-05T23:30:11.994-07:00

I'm not content. I can't stay still. My mind likes to wander. Sleeping is not so simple. My soul does not find peace in resting. I dream when I'm awake, I'm awake when I dream.I'm yearning-- longing for something I cannot attain.Yearning to live in the excitement of the 60's/70's exploration of space, to live in the jungle, to live in the Indian Jones' movies, to listen to a classic song in

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-23240413183434068472008-05-25T01:00:00.000-07:002008-05-25T01:30:28.566-07:00

I wonder-- I wonder what happened to all the people I ever met.The other day, I saw a girl that went to my high school. I couldn't remember her name and that made me feel bad. I wanted to tell her what I was doing, what I've been up to. But she was walking so quickly, with her new friends, living her path. Should I have shouted something? But what if she noticed? Would I remember her name?

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-7772131344621489102008-05-18T00:54:00.000-07:002008-05-18T01:33:16.837-07:00

I can't do it. I just can't seem to keep up. I miss them, but then again, I am happy with the way my life is. But it sucks. I feel like my best friend is slipping away and I lost many more on the path to this entry.No one person is at fault. Maybe it's just my mind thinking something is "wrong" or "different". Something is different. I'm losing a friend. And this hurts me so much that I felt the

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-18869746621753872702007-10-08T00:13:00.002-07:002007-10-08T00:43:31.975-07:00

Damn the Internet, damn it for erasing what I just wrote. I guess I'll just have to keep my thoughts to myself.But here's a gist of what I pondered- September went by fast, people are not revolving around me, life pushes on, too many things inspire me, moved out of storage, back into rant mode, babies, marriage, design and boba.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-90520745634286305302007-09-01T00:52:00.000-07:002007-09-15T16:59:17.196-07:00

The other night, my friend picked me up from Sawtelle and took me to Westwood so I could help paint her walls, but I didn't like how the paint was splattering on me, so I decided to let her do it herself. This left me away from my current "home" and without a ride back til the morning. I wanted to go skateboarding, but my friend had left her skateboard in Pasadena. This lead to a rousing round

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-79018284135101015482007-08-30T01:50:00.000-07:002007-08-30T02:14:26.807-07:00

A few things suck right now- especially the things that slow me down. First off, low Internet connections. Second, pop-crap ads. Third, my bad sense of grammar these past ten years. Fourth, the fact that I should be sleeping. But most of all or fifth, sweat. Sweat from me, other people, but mostly me. I'm always sweaty. Hot or cold, I sweat. Some things make it worse; when I drink alcohol, when

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-80087738758564447622007-08-27T13:17:00.001-07:002007-08-27T13:20:45.954-07:00

I guess I'm still here, right where life left me. I'm still trying to figure things out; living, money, school stuff. Creative thinking may result in death. Time to figure out where to place my energy. For right now- it's this blog.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-78081524603199215842007-08-11T19:10:00.000-07:002007-08-30T01:44:35.749-07:00

It took me long enough, but I finally moved out of my apartment. Two years. The time seemed to go by so quickly, though the lessons and memories gained-- make me feel like I collected about fifty pounds. Pounds of knowledge, emptiness, and fat. I learned a lot these past two years. I still have a long way to go, and naturally it scares me. Sometimes I feel like my soul and mind are disconnected.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-45191989706818571712007-08-02T19:14:00.000-07:002007-08-02T19:23:46.300-07:00

I want to feel bad for leaving my job so suddenly- but I can't; that is I can't dwell on leaving. A lot of people depended on me- the store, my boss, my co-workers, and myself. I am far behind on bills. Sometimes you just need to follow what your mind is telling you. I gave up, gave up on the anxiety. Of getting fired, of mopping the bathroom, of no recognition, of babysitting. It makes sense to

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-91552965154850818042007-07-31T15:03:00.000-07:002007-07-31T20:59:14.165-07:00

Hello August,Please treat me well. I have too much to do.-P.S., tell July thanks. Thanks for nothing. Try better next time.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-10514699084911818482007-07-30T11:21:00.000-07:002007-07-30T13:51:31.995-07:00

I'm ready to not do the things I'm ready to not do. Moving, finding a new job, figuring out how to get back into school, paying bills- there's too much not to think about these days. I feel like a fucken library book. Full of expectations, possibilities, judged by the cover, and existing on borrowed time. Time to stop not being ready. I'm long overdue. -Please return if found.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-40545620905642078762007-07-27T18:34:00.000-07:002007-07-31T15:02:29.024-07:00

So here it is and here I am. Just trying to do something again. I really need to reset my focus.-Anyway, I apparently went to the Echoplex last night for these guys- -the show was okay. I actually waited outside the venue for two and a half hours because I did not have a ticket. I didn't mind, though it sucked how we (the wait list line) had to wait until every last ticket holder made it inside.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-81269653517387816282007-07-19T10:47:00.000-07:002007-07-19T10:51:43.781-07:00

Just ignore what I try to say. hopefully I will soon incorporate pretty little pictures to overshadow any nonsense I try to express through text. that means ignore this too. Or don't.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-67699947262635820352007-07-12T12:24:00.000-07:002007-07-12T12:46:18.313-07:00

I wanted to add the comment that although I am once again in a "new" place in my life, in terms of growth, experience, etc.,... I don't feel tempted to go into the depth of my adventures in growth and experiences. I somehow find the idea of "change being constant" as fact, therefore irrelevant. Because I am going to change somehow, that's inevitable, what I really want to dwell on is how I am

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1358068226040258382007-07-12T12:08:00.000-07:002007-07-12T12:22:19.227-07:00

I hate how limited I feel when picking a title for a new entry. Not that I really think about it, because I usually type the first two word phrase that pops up in my mind. But the possibilities are endless. I guess that means more entries, for more new titles.Anyway, I feel oddly compelled to declare something, maybe the fact that I have not posted in nearly a year. I get to write things like, "I

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1160897921976827792006-10-15T00:25:00.000-07:002006-10-15T00:38:41.983-07:00

I'm finally living in my apt. again. And like before, I can not sleep when I'm here. At night I am cold, warm, hot, sad, happy, curious, motivated, drained, waiting... waiting for resolution. I understand things happen for a reason--that a lesson will be learned down the road. I am hopeful, but impatient. I try to see the bigger picture. But how many roads do I have to imagine up in my mind

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1155371775070384692006-08-12T01:35:00.000-07:002006-08-12T01:36:15.070-07:00

Hello August, please tell July goodbye.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1155371654132927152006-08-12T01:12:00.000-07:002006-08-12T01:34:14.146-07:00

I hate it. I'm older. I hate it. I'm growing. This means change. That I've changed. That things are different from before. I'm not a child, but I can act childish. I'm not old, but I can act mature. Change scares me, because I feel like I'm slowly losing my grasp on what little I know of myself. I've become a missing child, lost along the path of growth. Too busy being like others. Different in

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1153643460245852772006-07-23T01:21:00.000-07:002006-07-23T02:07:38.816-07:00

I had something to say to you. Something very eloquent. But the computer erased it. Doesn't life suck. I talked about how my mind wanted to release balloons of creativity, jealousy, and rage. I spoke of how depression is too easy, how happiness is too distant, and how anger is always present. And how I was simply looking for a concept to keep me from floating away. It was very eloquent. But the

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1152085608485487522006-07-05T00:40:00.000-07:002006-07-05T00:50:05.973-07:00

So as my journey into my "July" adventure continues, death strikes again. I was sitting on the beach when I got the call. A good chance to relax before the events to come. I got a job, i'm chilling in the sun, worried about getting too dark, then the call. My cousin and my newly pregnant/engaged aunt's boyfriend. It should be a time to celebrate, watch the fireworks, be partriotic... but not for

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1151732695329086412006-06-30T22:36:00.000-07:002006-07-03T15:31:49.210-07:00

So I realized July has arrived, and with it comes a new archive of entries. I guess I should use the remaining June time to chat about the fact that I can't take summer school due to a lack of finances, and that I will be working at Cost Plus instead. Wish me luck on my new adventure, which I have titled, "July, the New Adventure", clearly a sequel to "June, the New Adventure"... I need better PR

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1151707188264643322006-06-30T15:34:00.000-07:002006-06-30T17:04:33.376-07:00

In a blog below I mentioned a Craigslist posting for origami folding, and got a reply from some guy named Joe, who sent me this link for some guy named Robert. J Lang. So I clicked on the link, excited that "Joe" replied and that I could make some cold hard cash... and then the page finished loading. I let out a nervous laugh, and then let out a what the F. Because this "Joe" guy must be crazy

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1151306968012156522006-06-26T00:10:00.000-07:002006-06-26T00:36:28.233-07:00

Me and Tru, stood in line to see the world premiere of The Boys' and Girls' Guide to Getting Down. It's basically a mock how-to film in the format of a retro educational film on how to be a young "Los Angelino". It takes you through the steps of doing drugs, how to get into a club, the club scene, the opposite sex, and random advice that left most of the audience saying "that is so true". There

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1151208415011418102006-06-24T20:57:00.000-07:002006-06-24T22:08:07.833-07:00

So in my attempt to find money, I mean work, I stumbled across several Craigslist postings that caught my fancy. Such as origami folding for a music video, sewing together two cloth bears for 200 bucks, and this hipster site. I am not a hipster, but I thought it could be a neat way to earn warm soft monies. Plus the picture (above) blends well with the aesthetics of my blog!

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1150942465612957952006-06-21T19:13:00.000-07:002006-06-21T19:16:37.483-07:00

I need money. School costs too much. I buy too much. I need to look for a job. Damn. It takes too much money to live. The end.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1150842912510499782006-06-20T15:08:00.000-07:002006-07-05T20:35:30.916-07:00

So I am dual blogging so to speak, using Blogger and Xanga. I don't know who will win, but I do like the html editing possibilities of blogger. Not that I know what html is or means, but it's sure damn fun to change numbers and codes, even if the code is a mere six numbered color hex change. Though, it feels strange to abandon all my past entries from Xanga...I should post old entries on special

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29981106.post-1150798042791656872006-06-20T03:04:00.000-07:002006-06-20T05:33:32.306-07:00

So I am trying out a new word that I learned...ersatz... I believe it is an adjective, but I'm ignorant and will try my best to use the word as a noun, verb, curse word, etc... Like the F word.Thanks, that is all for now.Another ersatz entry.

ram.http://www.blogger.com/profile/02110771538181899767noreply@blogger.com0