i yearn.

I'm not content. I can't stay still. My mind likes to wander. Sleeping is not so simple. My soul does not find peace in resting. I dream when I'm awake, I'm awake when I dream.

I'm yearning-- longing for something I cannot attain.

Yearning to live in the excitement of the 60's/70's exploration of space, to live in the jungle, to live in the Indian Jones' movies, to listen to a classic song in creation. I yearn to travel elsewhere, yearn to find something different, yearn to be reborn, and yearn for a culture-- something to hold on to or feel comfort in-- a lesson, a tradition, a common thread.

In the pursuit of happiness-- I find myself becoming more distant, more selfish-- to try and create an identity, to try to be an individual-- maybe we're creating too much?

Sometimes thought is just too much.

We are all contributors of each others history-- we are all connected-- we just fail to see it-- they will see it and by "they" I mean the people that will look to us for their past-- and if you're lucky-- you will be what they deem important to remember.

I yearn to have created the first hieroglyphic, to create the light bulb, to stand on the sands of a freshly finished pyramid, to be of the first to recite rituals of any religion. To be a contributor. To not be irrelevant.

But the past is the past.

We're getting smarter, we're losing our past. We produce too much waste, we give off too much history-- far too much to comprehend.

Therefore, I can't stop thinking. I can't stop thinking. I can't dare stop creating ideas. Too much waste-- too much waste to comprehend.

Where and what is my culture? Is it even relevant? Maybe I'm just too American.